From the moment I said I was going to Uni people have been coming up to me asking ‘How are you going to manage?’ Some People asked from a financial or intellectual point of view, others like my mother and my best friend asked knowing that my ability to feed myself and keep out of trouble is almost non existent.
But mostly people asked knowing that me and Alex my boyfriend of now 17 months would be going to separate Uni’s separated by a grand total of 186.2 miles of motorway.
I have to say I’ve been dreading it. Though Al and I have never seen each other every day, the public transport of Somerset and Devon being what it is. I had grown used to him fumbling up the science block stairs every morning Monday to Friday before college, bleary eyed and bushy haired, barely even conscious, but he was there at least.
I would like to think our relationship is strong and can withstand whatever Uni life will throw at us. But doubt is one thing that does not like to be quieted. Even my closest friends have doubted how we will fare. There’s always one thought going through peoples heads. ‘You’re not even sleeping with him’.
Why is it in this generation that the strength of your relationship is measured by how far you will go in bed? I am not saying I have never been tempted or that I have never made mistakes (I can’t even count them I tell you) but I live in the hope that it won’t matter yet I can’t count the nights staring up at my bedroom ceiling wondering when Alex is going to get bored and frustrated with my ‘religious ways’ and leave. Even though I know he cares for me in more ways than just physically.
The paranoia is chronic and condescending. I hate the way these feelings grate through me. Sex can ruin relationships even when it is not being had.
I know that sometimes Alex feels rejected by me. As he is not a religious man he does not always understand my reasons for not wishing to have sex until I am married but I live in hope that he can see past that and know that I do truly care about him.
I refuse to become the stereotypical bed hoping teenager. Sex is supposed to be a celebration of love between two people and not just some milestone to prove just how ‘in love’ you are to the rest of the world.
Though I am far from perfect I live in the hope that when I first ‘bed’ a man, it will be the man I love, my husband.
But I guess for now I will just have to grin and bear it through raging hormones and peer pressure and hope that Alex will come to understand that it is not because I don’t care or trust him that I won’t sleep with him, but that I care too much and don’t want to hurt him.
As for the distance, yes it is hard, but then it is hard even on friendships. (I personally cannot wait to see my best friend Kat again on the 18th of December). Thankfully Facebook, Msn and mobile phones make the distance a whole lot easier to deal with. But I look forward to seeing Al and all my friends very soon.
Roll on the holidays!!!!
Monday, 29 November 2010
Tuesday, 23 November 2010
ZZZZZzzzzz Sleep!
Going from the fairly quiet country side (the odd mooing cow aside) to the bustling streets of east London i soon learnt that nighttime here is anything but restful.
Om my first night in student halls I was jolted awake by the fire alarm and many nights since. The sirens are none stop and it seems most nights just as I am drifting off into peaceful oblivion I get dragged back to earth kicking and screaming by the 'WAAA WAAA WEEEEEE' of the local police sirens.
Add to this late night parties, essay deadlines, afternoon lectures and Alchohol and soon you have a very screwed up body clock. Midnight munchies are my constant companion and attack as early as 11pm to as late as 3!
What I do find amusing is more often than not i wander into the kitchen at some god awful hour of the night to find one of my flat mates sat around the kitchen table, having a fag or a cup of tea.
Last night me and Sam ended up eating crumpets at 4 in the morning, which was definately more hassle than it was worth considering we found out that both the toaster and half our cooker grill is broken so had to resort to microwaving them >< (mmm rubbery)
I think the longer I stay here the more of my friends are becoming nocturnal (and that includes myself) bumping into my flatmates still in their dressing downs at 6 in the evening is becoming an all to common occurence.
The only conclusion I can come to is this:
UNIVERSITY HAS STOLEN MY SLEEPING PATzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Om my first night in student halls I was jolted awake by the fire alarm and many nights since. The sirens are none stop and it seems most nights just as I am drifting off into peaceful oblivion I get dragged back to earth kicking and screaming by the 'WAAA WAAA WEEEEEE' of the local police sirens.
Add to this late night parties, essay deadlines, afternoon lectures and Alchohol and soon you have a very screwed up body clock. Midnight munchies are my constant companion and attack as early as 11pm to as late as 3!
What I do find amusing is more often than not i wander into the kitchen at some god awful hour of the night to find one of my flat mates sat around the kitchen table, having a fag or a cup of tea.
Last night me and Sam ended up eating crumpets at 4 in the morning, which was definately more hassle than it was worth considering we found out that both the toaster and half our cooker grill is broken so had to resort to microwaving them >< (mmm rubbery)
I think the longer I stay here the more of my friends are becoming nocturnal (and that includes myself) bumping into my flatmates still in their dressing downs at 6 in the evening is becoming an all to common occurence.
The only conclusion I can come to is this:
UNIVERSITY HAS STOLEN MY SLEEPING PATzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Saturday, 20 November 2010
Disco Pogo Ding a ling a ling!
Noise is an inevitable part of student life. But in London it is at a fever pitch.
The constant thrum of traffic and the scream of sirens. The lifts creaking every time I change floors and the bang of my front door when my flatmates return home in the wee hours of the morning.
Even me swearing at the tumble dryer for swallowing my money and not drying my clothes is incredibly loud, much to my embarrassment when a shell shocked nurse scuttled off back through the door of the laundry room.
But I think it is music that is the true driving force of student life. Listening to the Germans in the internationals block sing Bon Jovi reaaaaaaaaaaaally loud and accented is both brilliant and hilarious, they loved it.
We gave the Germans Bon Jovi and they gave us 'Disco Pogo!' a rather bizarre dance track from Germany that Stu has totally fallen in love with and plays at such volume security come running.
Student life may have my grabbing for my ear plugs at times (Fire alarms especially!!!) but there is nothing more funny than watching all the guys Disco pogo at 3am bouncing so hard dancing that their trousers are about to fall off.
1 dodgy German mp3 50p, 1 lose of hearing due to wooping and bad music, priceless :)
The constant thrum of traffic and the scream of sirens. The lifts creaking every time I change floors and the bang of my front door when my flatmates return home in the wee hours of the morning.
Even me swearing at the tumble dryer for swallowing my money and not drying my clothes is incredibly loud, much to my embarrassment when a shell shocked nurse scuttled off back through the door of the laundry room.
But I think it is music that is the true driving force of student life. Listening to the Germans in the internationals block sing Bon Jovi reaaaaaaaaaaaally loud and accented is both brilliant and hilarious, they loved it.
We gave the Germans Bon Jovi and they gave us 'Disco Pogo!' a rather bizarre dance track from Germany that Stu has totally fallen in love with and plays at such volume security come running.
Student life may have my grabbing for my ear plugs at times (Fire alarms especially!!!) but there is nothing more funny than watching all the guys Disco pogo at 3am bouncing so hard dancing that their trousers are about to fall off.
1 dodgy German mp3 50p, 1 lose of hearing due to wooping and bad music, priceless :)
Friday, 5 November 2010
Remember remember the 5th of November...gun powder, treason and Snot
It's the 5th of November fireworks will be fired all over the country tonight despite the dismal weather, and will I be out in it? Nope once again I find myself ill and out of action Frrr grumble grumble.
No one likes being ill, the other day I got a text from best mate Kat stating 'I feel like crap' she was not amused by my swift reply of 'Duh your ill!', I think though that being Ill at uni takes the biscuit (and all the paracetamol)
Kishan was the first in my flat to catch the O so dreaded 'Freshers flu' the fact he is still coughing nearly two months later is testament to how horrid this phenomenon is. I for one was not amused when he then decided to share his lovely lurgi.
I didn't just gain the cough, I landed in bed for two days and spent a further week on antibiotics for a ear AND throat infection, cheers Kish, thanks a lot.
I'm highly surprised that they never quarantined our flat, and even more surprised that Sam has somehow completely withstood it all together! He must have the immune system equivalent to a brick wall.
With me and Kishan being the walking death it was left to Sam to run the flat, and he actually did very well, but he's just not my mum.
The sad fact is at Uni, Mum isn't there to give you a hug and a glass of water when your keeling over the toilet bowl due to food poisoning or too much booze. She's not around to force feed you chicken soup and remind you to take my tablets and wrap up warm.
I always used to grumble about having a nurse for a mother but now I really miss it, especially when the other half starts freaking out down the phone thinking you have meningitis when in fact you have a pitiful cold.
Mum I miss you! Come nurse me better!
No one likes being ill, the other day I got a text from best mate Kat stating 'I feel like crap' she was not amused by my swift reply of 'Duh your ill!', I think though that being Ill at uni takes the biscuit (and all the paracetamol)
Kishan was the first in my flat to catch the O so dreaded 'Freshers flu' the fact he is still coughing nearly two months later is testament to how horrid this phenomenon is. I for one was not amused when he then decided to share his lovely lurgi.
I didn't just gain the cough, I landed in bed for two days and spent a further week on antibiotics for a ear AND throat infection, cheers Kish, thanks a lot.
I'm highly surprised that they never quarantined our flat, and even more surprised that Sam has somehow completely withstood it all together! He must have the immune system equivalent to a brick wall.
With me and Kishan being the walking death it was left to Sam to run the flat, and he actually did very well, but he's just not my mum.
The sad fact is at Uni, Mum isn't there to give you a hug and a glass of water when your keeling over the toilet bowl due to food poisoning or too much booze. She's not around to force feed you chicken soup and remind you to take my tablets and wrap up warm.
I always used to grumble about having a nurse for a mother but now I really miss it, especially when the other half starts freaking out down the phone thinking you have meningitis when in fact you have a pitiful cold.
Mum I miss you! Come nurse me better!
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