At home me and the toaster have an understanding, I won't overload it with hand sliced (I.e wonky chopped) bread if it doesn't burn my bread or complain when I press it into service all hours of the day and night.
Now here at Uni, the toasters all seem to have issues. We've already had to replace one that took umbridge to cooking crumpets at 4 in the morning. Me and Sam were not amused especially as after that half the grill went on strike, maybe it was a conspiracy against midnight munch?
The new one just seems to have an attitude problem. With Kishan and Sam it has no issue, 'Toast? here you go perfectly brown. Potato waffles? Not a problem, even when you leave them in me to defrost for half an hour before pushing the button'
Maybe I some how unwittingly bought a sexist toaster? I swear when it see's me coming towards it bread in hand, it just puts it's hands on its hips and says 'You want me to what? Cook your poncey granary bread? it's already brown! what do you expect me to do with that?'.
Don't even get me started on it's treatment of my fruit bread, it was black as charcoal. Any day now I expect the toaster to start asking for a pension and an extended warranty before it even thinks about even looking at my bread.
Now a days I've come up with a new tact. Surprise toast! you sneak up behind the toaster and slam dunk your bread and slam the button before the toaster even knows what's hit it.
So far so good, I just hope my manic cackling at getting one over on the toaster doesn't wake up the flat mates.
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